Interesting Findings
Responses about what it means to be a man varied among respondents. Age and location seemed to be the biggest determinants.
Some older respondents felt like being a man isn't as valued as it used to be, or that men must do physical labor, be attracted to women, and work hard to control their emotions. Younger respondents varied from feeling like men should be allowed to do whatever they want to feeling like suppressing emotions and seeking dominance is still expected of them. While a few respondents directly associated manliness with violence, anger, or possessiveness, others stated that they had come to realize how much pressure there is for women and men to act a certain way.
Many respondents indicated that going to college, having more female friends, dating a feminist, or becoming a father changed their views about masculinity. Some felt like deviating from traditionally masculine behaviors would be accepted by their family and friends, but not tolerated by society. Others realized that expressing emotions doesn't have to be just for girls, and that differences between girls and boys are often learned, not innate.
The fact that one’s environment and relationships can influence their view of gender shows that masculinity is not permanent and unchangeable. Some respondents also said that exploring their sexual orientation or religious faith changed their view of what it means to be a man.
One question on the survey was:
Please describe any times you felt "not allowed" to participate in an certain activity or enjoy a certain item (ex. a toy, a color, a TV show, etc.) because you were a boy.
Here are some behaviors, activities, or traits that participants were taught to view as not "manly" or not characteristic of "real men":
- the colors pink, turquoise, or mint green
- having a cat
- drinks that taste good
- talking about feelings
- anything "girly"
- being short
- being introverted
- doing gymnastics, dancing, singing, acting, jumping rope
- Student Council
- cooking
- certain music or shows (High School Musical, Glee, female singers, etc.)
- being quiet
- reading
- having a low sex drive
- being very excited about something
- personal care activities (such as massages)
Men should be allowed to wear whatever they want, do whatever extracurriculars they want, and be unafraid to express excitement or vulnerability. It was fascinating to see how many traits or activities have been deemed "unmanly" by society for the sole purpose of promoting outdated stereotypes.