Internalized Homophobia
Masculinity is very much rooted in being the opposite of femininity, and gay men are often considered to be extremely effeminate. Therefore, men calling other men homophobic or sexist slurs is one of the most common and demeaning insults a man can hear (source).
While homophobia is rampant among many people, it is particularly prevalent among men and has two main effects.
- It causes gay or bisexual men to repress their feelings and become depressed or even suicidal.
- It prevents men from feeling able to express love towards their brothers, friends, male relatives, etc.
Gay or bisexual men are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than straight men.
(source)
This could be due to the prevalent societal expectation that men are both attracted to women and successful at having sex with women.
Public practices of heterosexuality (bragging about having sex with girls, discussing future sexual pursuits, etc.) are a way many men establish masculinity and, more specifically, feelings of sexual experience and dominance (source). This can make gay or bisexual men, as well as straight men who haven't had sex, feel like they are less of a man. This can severely affect self esteem, lead to depression, and potentially suicide (source).
Another result of homophobia being a key part of many masculine identities is that it prevents men from expressing love or care towards other men. While women frequently hug, hold hands with, compliment, physically touch, and express verbal love to other women, men have been strongly conditioned against this.
Young men are taught that neither expressing sensitivity nor showing affection towards men are allowed if you want to "be a man". Men touching or complimenting other men is assumed to be sexually-motivated and therefore taboo. This can cause men to feel isolated and emotionally suppressed since they are not allowed to comfort or be comforted by their male friends and relatives (source).
Internalized homophobia can be so extreme that young men are afraid to sit next to one another, accidentally bump into one another, or say anything that might be interpreted as "gay". This can lead to men being a constant state of anxiety over whether or not their actions are straight enough, and therefore "manly" enough (source).